Everyday conversations can be springboards to learning. Every situation can be an opportunity to teach and learn. Life learning is organic. It happens all the time whether we use it for growth or not. The learning is spontaneous because it comes out of day-to-day activities.
Today was gym day. After the gym, my grandson and I went to the store. He saw candles and wanted to get one for his room. At first I said no, because I would worry that he would forget to blow it out at night, etc. He was a bit offended, was quiet for a few minutes, then brought it up again while we were waiting in line to check out.
He said, “Remember, at Mom’s I am 100% independent. She has candles all over the house and I help watch them! I told him I was just not comfortable with the idea. He said I was being a worry wart. I said yes, I knew that, and I was sorry, but that was just how I felt about it. I could see the look of disappointment on his face. I told him I was going to text his dad (my son) and he would have the final say. I sent a text. I let my grandson read it before I hit send. I told my son that I was being a bit paranoid and I knew that, so he had the final decision to say ok or no. Dad said ok as long as it was in a glass holder.
My grandson was very excited! When we got home, he put the candle in his room, lit the wicks, and noticed the flames were blowing a bit. He identified why (ceiling fan or fan on his dresser), made some adjustments, and before long it had the whole house smelling like spiced apples!
Later that day I was thinking about the whole thing. I realized that we had a “life learning” experience right there in the store! He used persuasion and a reasonable argument to change my mind. He had dad’s approval which was additional evidence that my concerns were unwarranted for the situation. He was also totally respectful while he was providing evidence that he was responsible and knew how to be careful.
I went upstairs and told him that I was proud of him for expressing his thoughts, pushing back just a bit when I initially said no for no good reason, and for being respectful during the whole process. I asked him if he knew what the word persuasion meant. He said yes, but no. I gave him a definition and connected the word to his actions and he totally got it!
His dog was sitting in the room. He did his begging stance where he sits on his haunches and holds his front paws up to beg. My grandson bent down and said, “Mavie, are you trying to persuade me to give you another treat?” That was additional evidence for me that he now knows for sure what the word persuasion means!
This is “life learning” at its finest, in my opinion!
Life learning is dealing with everyday situations as they arise. It is taking the time to step back and see my grandson’s desires as valid and important. It is being transparent enough to own the reality that maybe I shut down his request based on my perceived fears/concerns rather than on reality. It is providing a “safe space” so he knows he can respectfully express himself and share his desires because they are important. It is giving him time to provide evidence/proof that what I think is not accurate, and the freedom to persuade me to see his side of the situation.
Life learning is organic. It happens all the time whether we use it for growth or not. The learning is spontaneous because it comes out of day-to-day activities. In order for real growth to happen, we have to take the time to talk about what happened, help make connections to words, thoughts, and actions that were a part of the situation, and give genuine constructive feedback to the learner’s actions before, during, and after the situation occurred.
I guarantee that my grandson now knows the meaning of the word persuasion. He gained some self esteem from speaking up, being heard, and having his desire be honored and his maturity acknowledged and respected. I told him that his words and actions were respectful and appreciated. He now knows for sure what it looks like to show respect when speaking up for himself and asking for something to be reconsidered if it wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
All of this “life learning” happened in about twenty minutes…at the grocery store…because of a request to buy a candle!
Don’t just think it…say it so they learn!
